


Ride or Die...?

by CalumSmiles (dreamforlife)



Series: Accidentally on purpose [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Impulsive Calum, M/M, Michael and Luke try to help, Oblivious Ashton, literally this is a crack fic, silly idiots in love, tomatoes are not strawberries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 21:25:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10727565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamforlife/pseuds/CalumSmiles
Summary: The new tattoo sits on the inside of his wrist, settled in thick, dark ink right over Calum's pulse.Michael’s wild, gleeful grin only gets bigger from there. “Ohhhhhhhh man,” he cackles, rubbing his hands together. His green eyes spark in the light spilling in through the big French doors. “It’s gonna be fucking amazing to hear you explain that in interviews. Wait, forget interviews, I’d love to hear you explain that now.”~~~~~Or, the one where Calum makes an impulsive decision to get a tattoo and tries to pass it off as platonic. He fails. Ashton just wants to know what the tattoo is. Michael and Luke probably let them get away with the pining thing for too long.Oh and they're in love. Obviously.





	Ride or Die...?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gonnamuke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gonnamuke/gifts).



> Well HELLO there! Long time no see on the CASHTON front. This kinda just happened and it's totally a crack fic, self-indulgent and purely for the laughs. Another fic in the saga "I was bored and I wanted ridiculous CASHTON fics". Soooo I hope you guys enjoy it. 
> 
> Other working titles for this included:  
> \- It's not what it looks like! (except for how it is exactly what it looks like)  
> \- How much is laser tattoo removal?  
> \- Accidentally permanent confessions 
> 
> For Sonny because a few of the golden lines in here are all hers and we got carried away when I brought this up and...yeah...Sonny, this one's for you. 
> 
> ENJOY!
> 
>  
> 
> Note: I do not give permission for this to be reposted anywhere. So please, if you see it anywhere except archive, let me know.

When Calum gets the tattoo, it’s almost on a whim. He’s passing by Ashton’s usual tattoo parlour in LA, glancing through the window, and it’s like his feet just take him inside. Ten minutes later, he’s sitting there gritting his teeth while the tattoo artist glides the gun over his wrist. It’s a tattoo he had wanted for a while but never really found the strength to go and get, despite the multiple other tattoos he already has. Mostly because it’s completely ridiculous and would give him away with a single glance.

Something about it felt… _risky_ almost, but when it came down to it, all it took was a fleeting moment of impulsivity.

But now, the new tattoo sits on the inside of his wrist, settled in thick, dark ink right over his pulse.

A few days pass before the other three find out.

 The four of them are messing around at Ashton’s new place—his beautiful house in a secluded part of LA that Calum definitely doesn’t wish he could live in—strumming on guitars and working on new songs. Calum reaches out, palm upward, wiggling his fingers at Luke to pass him a pen when Michael suddenly jumps at him with a screeching yell, hands grabbing his wrist. Calum hits the roof in shock, turning to gape at his best friend.

“What the _fuck_ is this?!” Michael demands, eyes firmly on the new tattoo. “Holy fuck, you _didn’t._ ”

Calum can feel himself blushing, the heat slipping into his cheeks as he yanks his wrist out of Michael’s grip and proceeds to clear his throat while he clutches it to his chest. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Honestly, when he had woken up the day after and seen the clear, unmistakable **AFI** gleaming at him through the wrap around his wrist, he had sat there on his bed for almost two hours wondering what the ever-loving _fuck_ he had been thinking the day before. Had he been _high?_ Drunk? _Out of his fucking mind?_ Then he had spent the following two hours googling laser tattoo removal and despairing at the early downfall of his life.

Now, as Luke’s sharp blue eyes narrow and Ashton raises an amused eyebrow at him, all Calum can do is shake his head vehemently at Michael whose whole being seems to _light up_ at this new development _,_ a smirk curling his lips.

 _“No,_ Mike. Fuck off.” The protest feeble and useless. If anything, it feeds the beast.

Michael’s wild, gleeful grin only gets bigger from there. “ _Ohhhhhhhh man,”_ he cackles, rubbing his hands together. His green eyes spark in the light spilling in through the big French doors. “It’s gonna be fucking amazing to hear you explain _that_ in interviews. Wait, forget interviews, I’d love to hear you explain that _now.”_

Calum knows his face must be edging on bright red by now and he can’t make himself look at Ashton because _fuck,_ that’s the whole problem in the first place, and god _why_ did he have to go and fall in love with Ashton again? Who thought _that_ was a good idea?

“Show them,” Michael says on the back of a laugh, leaning back in his chair. He jerks his chin at Ashton and Luke. “You can’t hide it, you know that. So, show them.”

“I really fucking hate you,” Calum mutters, throwing him a dark glare.

Michael smirks. “Hey, I didn’t do this. In fact, I had _nothing_ to do with this. This was all you.”

“What the fuck have you done, Cal?” Ashton snorts from across the coffee table.

He’s leaning back leisurely in his seat, arm slung over the back of the couch, hair tumbling over his forehead, glasses perched on his nose. Calum wants to die a little but he shrugs jerkily and makes a face that makes Ashton’s lips twitch. He counts it as a win.  

Luke doesn’t wait for his answer though.

While Calum is sufficiently distracted, words cloying in his throat, Luke reaches out and grabs his wrist, turning it upward to look at the tattoo.

The laugh that tumbles out of him is a choked chortle as he throws his head back and cackles. “Oh my _god,_ Calum, you’re so gone. Right over your pulse, seriously?”

“Fuck _off,”_ Calum groans, pulling his wrist away and rubbing two hands down his face. “Shut _up_ , Michael.”

Michael’s grin is clear in his voice. “Didn’t say anything.”

“What the hell is it?” Ashton asks, leaning forward. His tone is burning with curiosity, eyes blazing hazel behind the lenses of his glasses, and Calum’s stomach churns with unease.

“Your initials,” Luke says, chuckling. “Your initials are tattooed right over Calum’s heartbeat.”

Ashton starts laughing and Calum’s thundering heart shrivels a little. Icy dread pools in his stomach as Ashton’s mirth dries up when he probably sees the blood draining right out of Calum’s face. The neon _please get me the fuck out of here_ sign must be flashing above his head.

“Oh.” Ashton blinks once. Twice. Three times. “Wait, seriously?”

Calum begs for the ground to open and swallow him up so he can live out the rest of his days in peace without ever having to see that startled realisation on Ashton’s face again.

He says nothing though. Just swallows down the horror and lets his nails bite right into his palms.

Michael snorts from the chair next to his.  “I’m just going to add a couple things before all of this gets twisted up into misunderstandings like in the movies. Ash, Calum’s been in love with you since you killed that spider for him in London. Calum, Ashton bought this house for both of you because he loves you too but he was too much of a bloody _chicken-shit_ to ask you to move in with him. So, both of you are idiots and I’m done with all this bullshit.”

He gets to his feet, motioning to Luke.

“Let’s go. Please talk, alright, ‘cos both of us are done watching you two pine after each other. It’s been six fucking years, get your shit together.”

Ashton is frozen, staring at a spot just to the left of Calum’s head and Calum sucks in a sharp breath as Michael and Luke disappear into the hallway outside.

“He’s lying!” is the first thing that comes tumbling out of Ashton’s mouth. “I’m not—this isn’t—I’m _not._ ”

A withering groan comes from hallway outside. A hissed, _“bloody Christ, are you serious right now,”_ filtering in on its heels.

Calum’s ears are buzzing and he can’t see straight— _hah_ —wildly hoping that a stray lightning bolt would come crashing down over his head because _fuck, fuck,_ this is awkward and he hates this crackling tension that weighs between them and why did Michael have to do this to him. Some _best friend._ He’s revoking all of Michael’s rights and benefits. Metaphorically kicking him out on his ass.

A wince shudders across Ashton’s features as he trails off, crumbling inward. Nausea teases at the fraying edges of Calum’s brain.

“Yeah…yeah, no, um. Me neither, I swear it’s not—I was going to get their initials done too,” Calum exclaims after a few excruciating seconds tick by. His voice is weak, strained by the whiplash of light in Ashton’s eyes. “I’m…I will. Later.”

A loud, echoing snort of laughter comes through the open doorway.

 _“Oh yeah?”_ Michael calls. _“Bullshit, bitch.”_

Luke’s unimpressed scoff rides on the back of that declaration. _“So, when exactly were you planning to get our initials done? Careful, Cal, your pants are on fire.”_

“ _If I don’t see MGC on your left butt cheek tomorrow, I’m leaving this band,”_ Michael chimes in and a peal of laughter follows that, the sound of a palm hitting the wall reverberating through to living room. _“I own your ass and you fuckin’ know it.”_

A volley of shushing sounds ricochet to them before Luke jumps in again.

“ _And we all know that ain’t happening ‘cos your ass belongs to the initials on your wrist so how’s ‘bout you FESS UP to your LIES?”_

Ashton is barely hiding the growing smile despite the hunch in his shoulders and Calum curls in on himself a little more, feeling his ears heat at the look in his eyes. The spark of pain in his palm brings him back down to earth. “I fucking hate you both!” He yells over his shoulder. He turns back to Ashton with a heavy sigh. “I swear I was gonna get theirs done too.”

It’s not true. It’s so not true and he can see the scepticism in Ashton’s face, in the minute arch of his eyebrow. Can he _please_ opt out of this conversation and go find a nice volcano to jump into?

“Maybe,” Ashton says then, interrupting Calum’s vivid fantasy about living inside a magma chamber for the rest of his life. He clears his throat, voice scratching in the middle of the word. “But my initials are tattooed over your heartbeat.”

The bottom of Calum’s stomach drops out like he’s in freefall. The end doesn’t come as fast as he’d like. The end doesn’t come at all. He doesn’t know what to say to that. He doesn’t know how to say that Ashton’s become such a vital force in his life that he feels his presence in each beat of his heart. He doesn’t know how he can say that he _wants_ that. He wants to have Ashton in every way that he can, in every way Ashton will let him.

In the end, he doesn’t say anything and the silence lingers between them, strangled and thorny, a pit of Devil’s Snare threatening to suffocate them the more they resisted this.

Whatever _this_ is.

As his thoughts spiral, the only thing he can focus on is—

“Knock, knock,” he blurts out.

Ashton startles, gaze flicking to him. “What?” He asks, half laughing.

Calum almost smiles. “Knock, knock,” he says again, fiddling with the ring on his thumb.

“Who’s there?” He’s humouring Calum but Calum just rolls with it.

“Daisy.”

Ashton’s eyebrow rises again. “Daisy who?”

“Daisy me rollin’, day hatin’.”

The barking, exploding laugh that tumbles out of Ashton has Calum curling up in his chair, shoulders relaxing, and he watches Ashton with a grin aching in his chest. He ignores the squeaky laughter from outside the living room.

“That was fucking awful,” comes spluttered out between helpless peals of laughter. Hazel eyes bright as Ashton looks up at him, shaking his head. “I hate you, oh my god.”

Calum’s stomach flips and rolls. “No,” he says, biting the inside of his lip. He jumps into the abyss. “You don’t.”

“No, I suppose I don’t.”

A silence falls over Ashton and he keeps his eyes locked on Calum’s as he slowly gets to his feet. As he picks his way across to him, all Calum can think is _holy shit, holy shit, holyshitholyshi—_

“Cal,” a fond voice cuts through the whirling in his brain, “stop freaking out.”

“I’m not freaking out,” he says immediately. His hands wave out wildly in front of him. “Who says I’m freaking out, I’m not freaking out, I’m calm and collected, cool as a cucumber, I am the coolest right now, I’m so not freaking out right now that I am the _master_ of not freaking out—”

A warm grip stops his hands abruptly and Calum blinks back to Ashton’s eyes, drawing himself back from the ring of fire flickering in them. His voice dies in his throat.

“Breathe, you idiot, I’m trying to kiss you, not kill you,” Ashton says with a snort. His thumb brushes over Calum’s knuckles as he gently pulls Calum to his feet. “You cool with that or—”

Calum groans then, frustrated and half sure he’s going to regret this whole thing at some point because maybe all of this is a fucking _dream_ , and pushes forward to press his mouth to Ashton’s, cutting him off.

Ride or die. Go hard or go home.

A soft laugh is muffled against his mouth and Ashton shifts his grip to pull Calum closer, sliding their lips together. It only lasts for a few, lingering moments before he pulls away again but it’s enough to make Calum’s head spin. _Years._ Years and years and finally, he gets to have this.

His protests about stopping die abruptly though when Ashton lifts his wrist upward and his eyes _shine,_ smile radiant as he studies the tattoo. He brings it forward and presses his lips over it, soft and achingly sweet, and Calum’s pulse jumps beneath the dark ink of the tattoo.

His spine melts and he lets out a strangled whimper, something white hot flaring in his stomach. “Ash…” Calum feels the smile pressed into his skin like a brand.

In the background, Michael is yelling in his phone. _“Yo, hey—no, Bryana, forget that. Listen! Remember when you told me to call when they got their shit together? … YEAH, fuck no, you owe me dinner at that Spanish place downtown HAH! And the fifty bucks you promised me in Thailand…”_

Ashton groans and it vibrates into Calum’s soul. He lifts his head and turns to look over his shoulder. “OI, YOU’RE RUINING OUR MOMENT!”

 _“You’ve been fucking ruining it for six years! Let us gloat, asshat!”_ Luke hollers back at them before sticking his tongue out and leaving the room with Michael as he continues to argue with Bryana.

It’s with what sounds like an extremely helpless fond sigh that Ashton turns back to him. “I love you,” he says, twining their fingers together and brushing across Calum’s cheek with his other hand. “That’s what I was _going_ to say before I was so rudely interrupted. I love you, even if you are an idiot.”

Calum grins, trying to bite Ashton’s fingers. He presses a kiss to Ashton’s palm because he can as Ashton yanks his fingers away with a tiny yelp. “Hey, I’m not the one who thought the tomato was a fucking strawberry.”

“It wasn’t me! It was Home Depot!” Ashton whines, pinching Calum’s cheek. “Shut _up,_ asshole _.”_

There’s liquid gold in each beat of his heart and dusky red blooming over Ashton’s cheeks and Calum feels like he’s glowing with the warmth settling in his chest. “I love you too, you massive goofball,” he says, laughing. He squeezes Ashton’s fingers. “I love you too.”

“In that case, wanna move in?” Ashton asks, teeth bright in a cheeky smile.

Calum throws his head back and laughs, leaning up to press a hard, chaste kiss to Ashton’s mouth, fingers curling tight into curly hair.

“Only if you grow some actual strawberries.”

**Author's Note:**

> And yeah, that's it. That's the fic hahaha 
> 
> Please leave a comment as always because I am weak for any comment, even if it's just laughter!! SOOOO comment and yell at me xx 
> 
> Much love to all of you for reading, peace out xox
> 
>  
> 
> Note: I do not give permission for this to be reposted anywhere. So please, if you see it anywhere except archive, let me know.


End file.
